Follies with 1st Sgt.

More
11 years 7 months ago #20316 by jtallen83
Follies with 1st Sgt. was created by jtallen83
Follies with the 1st Sgt.
part 1
This story is true, part of a rash and not so proud time in my life but worth a chuckle. This is the first of several interactions I had with a new 1st Sgt. that ended up getting a little out of hand for both of us.
The new 1st had been there about a week when the warmth of a young Fraulein caused me to decide PT was not so important that morning. Of course he didn’t see it the same way. The previous 1st had a Saturday PT if you were late so when I was told to report that evening my curiosity was peaked, what would the new guy’s policy be?
We met in the parking at the front of the barracks. He had a sledge hammer and a big track bar. He started out very calmly explaining the task ahead of me. “Allen, you are going to break this concrete into little chunks that you can load into a truck tomorrow.” I followed with what I thought was a simple question; “Where do I stop?” This prompted an in your face, full of spit response; “I’ll :censored: tell you when to quit!” With that he did an about face and walked back into the building.
By the looks of the concrete it would have been easy to assume he meant the first two sections that were cracked up, his and the CO’s spots, with the rest of the spots being crack free and newer concrete. I guess he figured it was hard work and would take some time. Having done this exact job during summers in high school I had already established a good technique for this type of concrete removal. I proceeded to break concrete like a madman.
The look on his face when he came out of the barracks and saw me 30 feet past the bad stuff and still whacking away was priceless. He surprised me by calmly telling me to report for runner duty in the morning and then taking the sledge and bar. He never even asked me to load out all the broken stuff. Neither of us realized the nasty spiral that had been started that day.
I’ll follow up with another chapter soon.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 7 months ago - 11 years 7 months ago #20366 by Siscowet
Replied by Siscowet on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
:thumbs: Once these things start they get a life of their own. Look forward to the next installment.
Last edit: 11 years 7 months ago by Siscowet.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 7 months ago #20367 by OleCowboy
Replied by OleCowboy on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
I may add my most embarassing military moment, well it was not mine, but certainly hers...

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 7 months ago #20399 by 13fcolt
Replied by 13fcolt on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
I gotta see where this nasty spiral goes.
Playing the 'dumbass private' at times is a winning solution to many problems. I loved my 1sg..battalion commander on the other hand was a change of command ceremony we were all happy to stand in the heat for.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 7 months ago #20403 by jtallen83
Replied by jtallen83 on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
Chapter 2
Infantry Blue

I did my runner duty and then spent my day off with the Fraulein, some easy punishment I’m thinking. The next morning formation I get called out front. 1st Sgt. Proceeds to tell the company to keep away from me or they would find themselves in the same spot. I’m thinking again, what spot? Everyone gets dismissed and he fills me in on his plan.

Now this guy has me figured out, he informs me I will not be going to the next live fire exercise but will be pulling runner duty one day on and one day off till further notice. He took away my M60 time! I’m mad as hell but what can I do?
Now I’m pulling my runner duty the day everyone leaves for the field when at the last minute 1st Sgt. hollers at the Sgt. on duty to bring me to the second floor hallway. When we get there he has a five gallon bucket of Infantry blue paint and some supplies to apply it. He tells the Sgt. “Allen is going to paint this entire :censored: hallway before we get back, understood?” Sgt replies yes and we are left standing there together. Now my wheels are already turning so I clarify with the Sgt,”He wants me to paint the entire hallway?” he answered, “You heard him, now get busy!” I proceeded to paint and didn’t stop till the bucket was empty.

Now it has been a few days and neither duty Sgt. ever walks up the stairs to check my work. The guys start returning from the field, the first guy up the stairs hollers for the duty Sgt to come have a look. I had done exactly as told, I painted the entire hallway, the doors, the ceiling, the lights, the floor, everything! I didn’t get the privilege of being present when 1stSgt sees this but I could hear him yelling at the duty Sgt. Game on, round 2 goes to Allen, kind'a........ :dual:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 7 months ago #20404 by mrraley
Replied by mrraley on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
Now that sounds like something I would have done. :rotfl:

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 7 months ago - 11 years 7 months ago #21319 by jtallen83
Replied by jtallen83 on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
Chapter 3
I thought I better start this with some context, not an excuse but just an attempt at helping you see where I was coming from at the time.
I had been promoted to E-4 just two days before leaving my unit in Georgia. I had busted my butt and my chain of command let me know it took some effort on their part to make it happen as fast as they did. It felt great to be appreciated and recognized for the effort.
I spent a couple weeks back in Iowa and then away we flew to Germany. In processing seemed to go fine and I was in my new bunk in just a few days. I proceeded to be all I could be, in a mech unit anyway. Now the first month after being promoted there is no raise on the check? No big deal it will be there next month……..nothing. I start going up the chain of command with the issue and for a month the only thing I’m told is “We’re working on it.”
I start to write letters to my old command and get statements from the CO that pinned the rank on me, a MSgt. and a Spec 5 Chaplin’s assistant that came to the same battalion as me a week later so his word is in person as well. A month passes with no word. I go to the IG office on post and jump through their hoops. Next thing I know they are telling me to put PFC stripes back on my uniforms, they can’t find the form whatever in my file. :banghead: :censored: :angry:
Now I’ve been in the lead since I got to the unit, honestly the place was full of slackers so I could run half speed and still be miles ahead of whatever game they wanted to play. I thought I had established some credibility but it seemed like the whole chain of command had just bent me over. In hindsight my next move was the big mistake, instead of being patient with the system as my squad leader told me I went to the JAG office. Not really understanding what a lawyer’s role is I figured the guy was a Captain so I’d follow his suggestion. Ended up giving the CO a letter with demands and threats, basically told them I would be a morale problem till this mess got fixed. Although well within my “rights” all this letter did was poison the environment and my attitude. This is the state of mind that leads me to bust a little more concrete and paint a few more surfaces.
Now the 1stSgt gets the idea that the further away he can get me the better, off to special guard duty in Luxembourg. I’m thinking some punishment; I get to see another country. The post was overlooking a town with steep slopes all the way around, the buildings weren’t that old but it had that medieval fortress look. Then I find out the bad news, no leaving this tiny post!
They had a little “club” where you could order a meal and drink a couple beers, official 2 beer limit, and that was it for entertainment. The second night there I have a meal and my two beers then report for guard duty. We are guarding a motor pool inside a 50’x100’ or so barb wire topped fence and a locked gate with a bell. I hadn’t made one round when I started not feeling very good. There were a couple sedans amongst all the trucks and tanks so I decided to take a seat in the back of one for a minute, just to gather myself. Next thing I know I’m projectile vomiting all over the back of this sedan :sick: . I simply close the door and go sit by the gate till my relief gets there.
I hit the rack when I’m done with duty but get woke up by the Sgt. of the guard and a full bird. They want to know if I’m the one who puked in the NATO Commanders car, got his briefcase good they tell me. I explain how it is and I’m on my way back to the 1stSgt!
They got nothing to really ding me on, a couple others got real sick from the same food. They go back to a late for formation and grab another stripe, now the FTA attitude is surging. Now I’m going to start really planning…… :evil:
Last edit: 11 years 7 months ago by jtallen83.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 7 months ago #21328 by jtallen83
Replied by jtallen83 on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
Chapter 4
Now I’m sure there is no chance at any military career so I’m out to embarrass the whole chain of command if I can. This new 1st was coming from the 82nd, being a fellow airborne soldier I felt he should have helped me out even if he did show up in the middle of the paperwork mess. He seemed to decide making my life miserable would be a better goal. I saw an opportunity to make his life a little miserable in an IG inspection.
It seemed like weeks all the NCO’s were running around making lists and whining about a big inspection. I had heard of these IG inspections in prior units but had always been in the field and never present for one. I started to understand real fast this was important for all of them but the 1st more than any. This gave me lots of time to organize.
Inspection time arrives and my stuff looks tight. The 1st walks the whole company that morning picking on little stuff but doesn’t find anything that sets him off. They have us standing by our bunks for hours waiting when in fly’s the 1st, eyes racing from spot to spot, the General is in the building. As soon as he leaves the room with my squad leader I start the transformation. I’ve been collecting communist party literature and books for weeks. The party sign up cards with a colorful hammer and sickle pamphlet go on the table by the door, the calendar is flipped over to reveal another hammer and sickle, every square inch of my “personal” space has something related to the communist party, of America. I thought of this because I had been doing some reading about them when I knew I was going to Germany, the know your enemy so you can kill more of them thing. They got me all the literature and posters I could want lickety split. Now I’m no more a communist than your mothers a man but that didn’t seem to matter when the General walked in. There was a whole parade of bigshots with their mouths gapping and eyes darting, to his credit the General remained pretty composed, 1st on the other hand had this nasty twitch in his neck going on. The whole lot of them went into the hallway and commenced chewing each other’s butts in order.
By 8 pm that night I’m in my new room on the third floor next to the rec center, by myself so I don’t influence people. A few days later they call me in for another 15.They didn’t mention the inspection but grabbed another stripe for some perceived infraction like being out of uniform; I’m not sure because by this time they were all sounding like the adults on Charlie Brown to me, whaaahh waaaahhh wahwah! The 1st and I both took some blows but I’m thinking it is my round on points.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 6 months ago #23077 by jtallen83
Replied by jtallen83 on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
Chapter 5
Wrong Place Wrong Time, Maybe
I’ve got one stripe left and just a few months till they hand me a plane ticket. I was trying to stay low, out of sight out of mind but the 1st was adding more “malcontents” to my room every week so evenings could get interesting and unpredictable. I usually went to town and hung out with whomever till late just to avoid the hassles. It seemed to be working as I hadn’t been present for any trouble and short of time on runner duty I hardly saw the 1st.
Following my usual routine of dinner and a couple beers I was headed home early when I came across an elderly German man sitting on a front stoop with what must have been a 4 or 5 liter bottle of Asbach, a German Cognac with the kick of a whisky and very tasty stuff. He held up the bottle and waved me over, this lead to several hours of discussing world affairs while the bottle went back and forth. I was never sure if he understood anything I said and I only knew rudimentary German but we both laughed a lot. Time flew, next thing I know it is 2 AM and I’m pretty buzzed, time to go home.
As soon as I opened the door at the barracks I heard yelling and furniture being shoved around so as fast as I could I headed for the source, the CQ desk. As I got through the door I see the desk on its side and one of the new privates holding the CQ Sgt. against the wall while beating him with a large rodeo belt and buckle. I had a good deal of disdain for this Sgt. but the kid beating him was about 6’6” and at least 275 pounds versus the 5’6” 150 pound Sgt. so I couldn’t just walk away. I jumped on his back and grabbed a choke hold. He let go of the Sgt. and drove me into the opposite wall while I was hanging on him. I let go but somehow ended up facing him with his back against the wall and my hands pushing and squeezing on his windpipe. He was thumping me in the head with the buckle but the blows were losing power fast, his lips were getting blue. Next thing I know I feel my shoulder being grabbed from behind, to this day I’m not sure why but I let go of the kids neck and went low with an elbow and then turned with a round house right. About the time my fist was smashing the guy’s nose I catch the MP emblem, way too late! His partner is on me and the next thing I know I’m horizontal at 4 feet off the ground and on my way down. As soon as my wind came back from the healthy impact with the floor I started to apologize and explain but the cuffs were on and we were heading for a cell. The Sgt. was thanking me and trying to explain what had happen but they told him they would get a statement later. As we pulled away from the barracks I saw the kid being led out in cuffs, Sgt. must have explained something.
Between no one being interested in any explanations and all the booze I’ve turned to a furious drunken fool. They tried to give me a breathalyzer test but I picked up the machine and smashed it on the floor, it was an old school type with lots of knobs and needles about the size of a home office printer so plastic parts flew everywhere, so did I! When they were done tossing me around again they put me in a cell right next to the kid. The cells were all bars and shared a central wall of bars with a bunk hung from it. There were observation windows all around but apparently nobody watching. I decided this was all the kids fault and I would make him pay. He was passed out on the bunk so I looped my belt around his neck and a bar then put a foot against the bar and pulled hard. Thankfully someone was watching so they were able to get it off before he expired. I ended up hog tied on the floor till the CO recovered me in the morning.
He had already spoken to the CQ Sgt so I actually got a thanks from him. The Sgt. was a mess with swelling and stiches all over his face. He verified that the MP’s never announced themselves and I was just reacting to being grabbed while in a struggle already. He thanked me over and over himself and backed me with anyone that would listen but due to my behavior at the jail they grabbed the last stripe back. 1st Sgt was adamant that I pay no matter what happen or why.
After seeing this, the CQ Sgt. decided to fill me in on one of the possible reasons my lost paperwork issue was ignored. He was not the 1st’s favorite either; he couldn’t seem to pass his basic skills tests and brought down the average so he found himself on CQ all the time. He told me that on two occasions he had seen the 1st remove letters I had mailed from the bag and throw them out. This explained why I never got a response from my congressman or any of the off base IG’s I had tried to contact about the issue. The Sgt said he would make a statement if I wanted to pursue it but I didn’t see my chances of beating him with his own system being very good. I just wanted to get away from the man as soon as I could!
Fast forward, I have two days till my flight leaves and I’m sitting with my new Sgt. friend on CQ duty. The company is in the field so there is very little happening besides the occasional duty officer stopping by, then this very attractive young Spec 5 walks in with a letter in her hand. She asks us if we can get this letter to the 1st as she hands it to me, I said of course. After I finished watching her walk to the door and wiped the drool from my face I took a look at the letter. Holy crap! She had nearly every inch of it covered with I love you and lots of sexual references, looked like a note from high School. She is obviously his girlfriend and I know the 1st has a wife back in Bragg. It only took me a few minutes to locate his wife’s address. I placed his love letter in a fresh envelope and addressed it to his wife. I mailed it later from the PX. I was long gone before the letter arrived but my new Sgt. friend kept me posted. Turns out his wife was not very understanding. She pushed things up his chain of command so he ended up being charged, lost his rank and position. I feel bad about it now, breaking up a family was pretty cold on my part, but in the time I relished the fact that there could be no doubt in his mind who had done him in, his girlfriend had remembered it was a Pvt. Allen she gave the letter to, I’m sure he remembered taking my letters.
In the end there were no real winners in our game but I’m pretty sure the last round was mine.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Siscowet

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

More
11 years 6 months ago #23080 by LebbenB
Replied by LebbenB on topic Follies with 1st Sgt.
Great story. All I got to say is "Sua Sponte." Well played, Ranger, well played.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.