FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

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11 years 7 months ago #22980 by OleCowboy
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE: was created by OleCowboy
A COWBOY TOMBSTONE :
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan , Utah . He died not knowing that he would win the 'Coolest Headstone' contest.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.
The following user(s) said Thank You: mlotziii, mrraley

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11 years 7 months ago #22981 by Siscowet
Replied by Siscowet on topic FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
:thumbs: oh I am so gonna use that one!

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11 years 7 months ago - 11 years 7 months ago #22982 by mrraley
Replied by mrraley on topic FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
Here are some more...


Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules "

>From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!



1. Men ARE not mind readers.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!


1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem see a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.



1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one


1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.


If you already know best how to do it, just do it your self.


1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.

We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, shooting, or golf.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!


1. Thank you for reading this.



Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like

camping. :rotfl:
Last edit: 11 years 7 months ago by mrraley.
The following user(s) said Thank You: mlotziii, jtallen83, OleCowboy

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11 years 7 months ago #22994 by jtallen83
Replied by jtallen83 on topic FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

mrraley wrote: Here are some more...


Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules "

>From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!



1. Men ARE not mind readers.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!


1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem see a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.



1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one


1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.


If you already know best how to do it, just do it your self.


1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.

We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, shooting, or golf.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!


1. Thank you for reading this.



Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like

camping. :rotfl:



My wife had tears in her eyes after I emailed this to her! On target for sure!

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11 years 7 months ago #22995 by Dabu
Replied by Dabu on topic FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

OleCowboy wrote: A COWBOY TOMBSTONE :
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan , Utah . He died not knowing that he would win the 'Coolest Headstone' contest.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.



:laugh: I thought this was impossible. Then I read #5

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