C-130 into Baghdad

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11 years 4 months ago #27531 by OleCowboy
C-130 into Baghdad was created by OleCowboy
TO MY PILOT FRIENDS:
C-130 into Baghdad

There I was at 6,000 feet over central Iraq, 280 knots and we're dropping faster than Paris Hilton's panties. It's a typical September evening in the Persian Gulf; hotter than a rectal thermometer and I'm sweating like a priest at a Cub Scout meeting. But that's neither here nor there. The night is moonless over Baghdad, and blacker than a Steven King novel. But it's 2006, folks, and I'm sporting the latest in night-combat technology, namely, hand-me-down night vision goggles (NVGs) thrown out by the fighter boys.

Additionally, my 1962 Lockheed C-130E Hercules is equipped with an obsolete, yet semi-effective missile warning system (MWS). The MWS conveniently makes a nice soothing tone in your headset just before the missile explodes into your airplane. Who says you can't polish a turd? At any rate, the NVGs are illuminating Baghdad International Airport like the Las Vegas Strip during a Mike Tyson fight. These NVGs are the cat's ass. But I've digressed. The preferred method of approach tonight is the random shallow. This tactical maneuver allows the pilot to ingress the landing zone in an unpredictable manner, thus exploiting the supposedly secured perimeter of the airfield in an attempt to avoid enemy surface-to-air-missiles and small arms fire. Personally, I wouldn't bet my pink ass on that theory, but the approach is fun as hell and that's the real reason we fly it. We get a visual on the runway at three miles out, drop down to one thousand feet above the ground, still maintaining two hundred eighty knots.

Now the fun starts. It's pilot appreciation time as I descend the mighty Herc to six hundred feet and smoothly, yet very deliberately, yank into a sixty degree left bank, turning the aircraft ninety degrees offset from runway heading. As soon as we roll out of the turn, I reverse turn to the right a full two hundred seventy degrees in order to roll out aligned with the runway. Some aeronautical (or mathematical) genius coined this maneuver the "Ninety/Two-Seventy." Chopping the power during the turn, I pull back on the yoke just to the point my nether regions start to sag, bleeding off energy in order to configure the pig for landing. "Flaps Fifty!, landing Gear Down!, Before Landing Checklist!" I look over at the copilot and he's shaking like a cat shitting on a sheet of ice. Looking further back at the navigator, and even through the NVGs, I can clearly see the wet spot spreading around his crotch. Finally, I glance at my steely eyed flight engineer. His eyebrows rise in unison as a grin forms on his face. I can tell he's thinking the same thing I am - "Where do we find such fine young men?" "Flaps One Hundred!" I bark at the shaking cat.

Now it's all aim-point and airspeed. Aviation 101, with the exception there are no lights, I'm on NVGs, it's Baghdad, and now tracers are starting to crisscross the black sky. Naturally, and not at all surprisingly, I grease the Goodyear's on brick-one of runway 33 left, bring the throttles to ground idle and then force the props to full reverse pitch. Tonight, the sound of freedom is my four Hamilton Standard propellers chewing through the thick, putrid, Baghdad air. The huge, one hundred thirty-thousand pound, lumbering whisper pig comes to a lurching stop in less than two thousand feet. Let's see a Viper do that!

We exit the runway to a welcoming committee of government issued Army grunts. It's time to download their beans and bullets and letters from their sweethearts, look for war booty, and of course, urinate on Saddam's home. Walking down the crew entry steps with my lowest-bidder Beretta 92F 9 millimeter strapped smartly to my side, I look around and thank God, not Allah, I'm an American and I'm on the winning team. Then I thank God I'm not in the Army. Knowing once again I've cheated death, I ask myself, "What in the hell am I doing in this mess?" Is it Duty, Honor, and Country? You bet your ass. Or could it possibly be for the glory, the swag, and not to mention, chicks who dig the Air Medal? There's probably some truth there, too. But now is not the time to derive the complexities of the superior, cerebral properties of the human portion of the aviator-man-machine model. It is however, time to get out of this hole. Hey Copilot, how's 'bout the 'Before Starting Engines Checklist."

God, I love this job!

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11 years 4 months ago - 11 years 4 months ago #27546 by mrraley
Replied by mrraley on topic C-130 into Baghdad
hell, I think I was on that flight...

That ride is a trip. :usa:
Last edit: 11 years 4 months ago by mrraley.

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11 years 4 months ago #27547 by faawrenchbndr
Replied by faawrenchbndr on topic C-130 into Baghdad
Damn I hate flying............

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11 years 4 months ago #27548 by jtallen83
Replied by jtallen83 on topic C-130 into Baghdad
I took off in several but I never did land in one, sounds like I had the smoother ride! :usa:

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11 years 4 months ago #27549 by faawrenchbndr
Replied by faawrenchbndr on topic C-130 into Baghdad
Oh heJJ no.............

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11 years 4 months ago - 11 years 4 months ago #27551 by 13fcolt
Replied by 13fcolt on topic C-130 into Baghdad
It's not so bad, being packed in so tight that if you could stand up everyone else would expand and your spot would just vanish. Interlocking knees with the joes across from you and 130odd pounds of ruck in your lap. I loved the landings, being weightless for a bit, then getting squeezed this way or that. I used to wonder what it looked like outside and would imagine that big ass plane tumbling through a string of airshow stunts like an over powered acro-bipe. I also remember looking up and seeing a placard riveted up an across from where I was sitting that said something about being rebuilt in November of 1974. Then I knew everything was going to be alright. One of the females in the other row didn't pee before getting on, and she didn't need to when she left the plane in kwt.

When I started flight school and had to suffer through the fixed wing part, my instructor (young civi) did the few little things a piper warrior can do, a bit of the weightlessness, a G here and there... I kinda rolled my eyes a bit. I said "son if ya want an acrobatic plane, get yerself a C-130". He didn't believe me at first but one of the other instructors had btdt and backed me up.
Last edit: 11 years 4 months ago by 13fcolt. Reason: spel

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11 years 4 months ago #27553 by mlotziii
Replied by mlotziii on topic C-130 into Baghdad

jtallen83 wrote: I took off in several but I never did land in one, sounds like I had the smoother ride! :usa:


Love it!

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11 years 4 months ago #27555 by LebbenB
Replied by LebbenB on topic C-130 into Baghdad
Gotta love the Vomit Comet.

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11 years 4 months ago #27564 by faawrenchbndr
Replied by faawrenchbndr on topic C-130 into Baghdad

LebbenB wrote: Gotta love the Vomit Comet.



The Crew Chief that has to clean up what misses the bag doesn't!

Damn dirty Grunts!

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11 years 4 months ago #27573 by LebbenB
Replied by LebbenB on topic C-130 into Baghdad
Well, if the pilots could ever learn how to fly smoother and remember that there's paratroops in the bay instead of self launching, semi-steerable door bundles... :lol:
The following user(s) said Thank You: jtallen83

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